the first.

Well, I dug out and literally dusted off my laptop for the first time in months. I have been physically writing in this notebook I found because I was feeling a tad inspired. However, my hands began to ache (as the bitches often do), so I had to take my inspiration elsewhere...which brings us to Blogspot, where I'm journaling for the first time since I was sixteen. I named this 'Read 'Em and Sleep' because on this blog, I won't be trying to look smart, I won't be trying to make YOU smart, I'm not trying to change your political views, religion, or the kind of toilet paper you use. I intend for it to be moderatey inconsequential. This is mostly for me, I guess. And hopefully, at least a few of you can get a little something out of what I post every now and then.

Here is what I wrote in the notebook I found, upon reading two previous entries, the last one being from June 10th, 2015:

Well, obviously, I'm not a great journalist; my last entry was in June, which was nine months ago. Damn. I could've conceived and given birth to a child in the time I have had this notebook tucked away in a drawer. I am the WORST! I still have super A.D.D. tendencies as an adult and, a lot of the time, I get overwhelmed at trying to get everything out that's been swimming in my head all day. No, not swimming, flying. ...Flying like birds on crack. However, it has occurred to me that I am actually decently well-spoken (when I want to be), so maybe I should [type] some things down about the goings on in my life and maybe it'll do someone some good someday. Or...you know, just make someone have a good, hearty laugh.

So let me just start with the facts.

Name: Hillary Pearce (almost Cawthon - last name still in transition, because I'm "busy")

AGE: 24

SEX: Yes, please. Just kidding. Female.

MARITAL STATUS: Married (to a pretty cool dud[e] who is just as strange as me. His name is Adam. And he is greatness embodied.)

HOBBIES: DAYS OFF. Married...activities.👌 Singing every moment I deem it appropriate, and sometimes the ones I don't. Getting "turnt," but only when my blood sugar is normal and I'm not having social anxiety or a body-shaming contest with my mirror (so realistically, maybe 30% of the time or less). Eating the food I make, because I love cooking so freaking much. Putting wildflowers in bottles to decorate the window sills and tables in my house. Making crafts for people. Usually out of something wooden and some costume jewelry I've broken apart. It sounds disastrous but 99% of the time, it's impressive. I LOVE to read, but I'm ashamed to disclose how many years it's been since I got more than a third of the way through a book. (DAMN, I wish I could sit still. Ingredient lists, cleaner bottles, church marquees, and product knowledge guides at work will have to do for now.) Driving in the country listening to 70s folk rock (it is almost transcendental)...and sometimes rap. Or country. Or jazz from the 40's. You never know. And taking some American Spirits along for the ride occasionally is invigorating. Having LONG talks with my Mom and my best friend. They are the most wonderful ladies in the world. Listening to my siblings laugh and tell me they love me. Makes me cry almost every time because I'm a markedly emotional person - I've learned to accept it by now. "HEY HIL!! *Oh shit, is she going to cry this time?*" Also, I love being tickled until I cry laughing...but only by my husband. And I love watching him sing while he drives. Gives me butterflies just a little bit. I know, I couldn't just keep it simple and say fishing, horseback-riding, and volunteer work. Sorrryyy. I like those things, too, though.

LOCATION: Paris, Texas - home of the Eiffel Tower topped with the red cowboy hat.

HEIGHT: 2 damn short

WEIGHT: 2 damn fat. EFF this body and all its hormonal issues. Can I request for a new one? (That's a subject for another entry.)

Before it starts sounding like I'm commemorating my life at my own funeral, let me talk a little about the present:

As far as how my life is currently going, I'm pretty damn peachy. For the first time in a very long time, I am 99.5% content. There's definitely room for improvement, but it has undoubtedly been worse. And recently, so it's fresh on my mind to make all the good stuff lately keep its glow. We are living in the same house we've been in for almost three years now. We've rearranged and replaced things for long enough that I finally feel like I genuinely just like the way it looks. Our broke asses decided in December that almost 6 years was long enough to wait for a wedding and we faced the reality that if it was savings we were trying to rely on, we were royally F*CKED. BEST. DECISION. EVER. When I say zero stress, I mean ZERO stress. I wore a black dress and red shoes, threw all the traditional wedding BS out the window and had a FANTASTIC day with my husband. Went back to work the next day, but hey. Life goes on. We can't all live a fairy tale and that's okay. I left a super crappy job in November and went back to my old job, at which I'd worked as an assistant manager for the span of about four years. I cut all the delusions of grandeur out of my life and realized that it just made SENSE. Took a pay cut, don't care. Have to work Sundays occasionally, don't care. I have a phenomenal manager who has my back and I not only get to clock out physically, but MENTALLY. And I sleep at night now! My two days off a week aren't always the same, but that's okay. It is TOTALLY worth the trade-off with what I had. Adam went back to work mid-February after being on medical leave for two carpal tunnel surgeries since late September. It got so severe that he couldn't do his job. So I got to enjoy a good few months relearning him and all the things I love (and hate) about him. And I'm so grateful for it. We have grown a LOT as a couple in the past few months. Now back to reality. He works 3-12 and the latest I ever get off is 10 BUT it works. We eat a lot of sandwiches because we are exhausted as hell, but we're making due. Six years ago, when he was forcefeeding me Hootie & The Blowfish Serenades on his Ovation, I'd have laughed hysterically if you told me I'd be making him Italian food at 8pm on a Sunday night in 2016. But hey. Here we are!